For some reason I cannot get into the christmas spirit. I put my tree up the day after Thanksgiving and it took me 2 days to finish decorating it. Instead of me hounding Rick to put the lights up on the house he keeps asking me when I want him to. He finally put them up yesterday without me knowing. I think he might actually be more excited for christmas this year than me.
I am usually so excited for the holidays. I am usually finished shopping by Thanksgiving and I want to go and experience everything christmas. Not this year. I seriously don't want to do anything.
Maybe it's not the holidays maybe it's just the evil depression cycle I go through every year. I have suffered with bouts of depression and anxiety and this year it is hitting me hard. When I was diagnosed with anxiety my body was doing this weird tremor thing and I went on meds for it and I finally felt normal again. My body is doing the weird tremor thing again and it is driving me nuts.
When I try to talk to Rick about it he just brushes me off and prefers not deal with me. I don't blame him. My diabetes is alot to deal with. I am sure the last thing he wants is for something else to be going on. For the most part I can deal with the anxiety but when I get the tremor things it makes me go crazy.
Hopefully it will go away without meds because the last thing I need is another med to add to my regimen. The meds I was on before was expensive and a total BITCH to come off of so that really would be my last resort this time.
I am just frustrated right now so I thought why not blog? Thanks for listening to me feel sorry for myself :)
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my family
About Me
- my--four--sons
- I am 35 years old. I have been married for 16 years to a wonderful husband Rick, I have 4 sons, I lost One little boy that was stillborn when I was 38 weeks pregnant his name is Kasey he would be 11 now. I gained a little boy through adoption his name is deshawn and he is 9. He has been diagnosed with a form of autism called PDD-NOS. My first boys name is Adam he is 13 and my last boys name is Parker and he is 8. They are both mine biologically. The youngest two are only 8 months apart. I consider them my twins. We also cannot forget about our furry family bailey and Chloe. Oh yeah and my name is Melanie.
my boys
3 comments:
I know what you mean by not having the Christmas spirit. You have done more than me I haven't even set my tree up yet and the kids wont stop bugging me about it. And Tyler wanted to go Christmas shopping last night (which Never happens) and I didn't want to go. I think everyone I talk to this year about Christmas is in their own kind of depression about it right now so dont feel bad.
I love ya mel! Call me if you need to talk!
I know dpresion and anxiety suck BAD! I am here for you when ever you want to talk. WE need a girl trip for all of us that feel the same way. Love Ya
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