Highlighting Deshawn

WARNING: This is the longest blog I have ever written. Stop now if you don't have an eternity to read it.


I just wanted to highlight my little guy!!!






Isn't he the cutest thing in the whole world!!!!!!!!!!!!!1


Okay I thought I would blog about my adoption story since some of you might not know.


So me and Rick had been trying to get prego and of course once again we were having no success so we started talking about adopting. But we never really could make up our mind for sure and then one day in November I got a call from one of my cousins and she said she knew of a girl that was in foster care that was wanting to place her baby up for adoption and she wasn't feeling good about using an agency so my cousin mentioned that she knew her cousin (me) was looking into adopting and she said she wanted to meet us.

So we set up a time to meet her and I was sooooooo scared and nervous. Who knew a 16year old could be so intimidating huh. Anyway I was really impressed with how she handled the "interview". She asked us alot of questions and she even had a list written of everything she wanted to ask. I knew right away that she really loved this baby. She later told me that she had a list of requirements like that we had to have at least one other child and that we had goals set for our future and a whole bunch of other things and we passed everything she wanted in adoptive parents for her baby. It was sad because I know she wanted to keep him but she already had a one year old and she was a foster kid and I know the foster care people were pressuring her to give him up or they were going to place him. The whole thing was really sad but I know that she felt much better that she could be the one to place him where she felt was best.

So we waited for a week to hear from her and it was not the news we wanted. She had told us that a couple that were her previous foster parents were going to be adopting him. Well I was pretty sad but I knew there would be ups and downs with the process. So I put on a brave face and we decided to start the homestudy process and see what we could do to start the adoption process with an agency. Mind you Rick was enrolled in school and technically not working so we really didn't have money to adopt but we just kept feeling like we needed to move forward anyway.

Well on December 19th we got a phone call from Deshawns birthmother saying she had changed her mind that she felt that we needed to be Deshawns parents. She was going to be going in for a csection in the MORNING!!!! So we frantically tried to get our lawyer to handle all of the legal issues. Mind you this guy was EXPENSIVE but we didn't care we just figured that we would figure it out some how. So I call him and basically tells me because it is so close to christmas that they would never be able to pull off all the things he needs to get done to make it all legal. So once again I was crushed.

So I frantically try to figure out what to do and I called Rick's sister because she was dealing with the whole adoption thing and she told me about this estate attorney that practices in our area that does adoptions on the side. He has adopted and he has also helped open agencies in foreign countries so he has a passion for it.

So I called him and told him what the other attorney told me and I told him that I felt very strongly that this little boy was supposed to be my child. He laughed and told me that our attorney was just lazy. So he said it will be no problem and that he might have to pull a few strings with some judges but he would be able to do it.

Okay so now we are down to the 20th. This day was so stressful. She went in got her csection at 7:00am and we waited out in the hall where you could watch the babies being brought in for the baths and to be weighed and such. WOW what an experience that was. He literally took my breath away. But there was still a part of me that was scared that it wouldn't happen. So we went into the waiting room and found out that the state still wanted to take that baby into custody. My heart once again shattered. I told them that I would contact my attorney and see what he could do. And after awhile my miracle worker had convinced them that this was best and this is what the mother wanted.

So we were there at the hospital everyday and couldn't wait to bring him home. I could tell she was trying to stay at the hospital as long as she could because she didn't want to let him go. She was trying to take him home and finally her foster mom told her that they had no way to care for the baby. It is not that she didn't want to still place him up for adoption but it was christmas time and she just wanted to keep him until after christmas.

Finally, she was able to let him go. It was very hard to watch her breaking down as she handed him over to us. I was excited and devastated all at the same time. We took him home knowing that we did not have custody of him legally yet. That was scary because things could still not happen until she relinquishes her rights. But I "knew" that it would all work out.

Christmas Eve-- We met at our lawyers office and she relinquished her rights and were were awarded custody of him. Wow what a feeling. Amazing! What a beautiful little boy. He was our's. NOT!!! We still had to wait 6 months. Six more months of home studies before we could finalize our adoption. So six months later he was officially ours forever and ever.

To top it off our attorney did this adoption for cost. That means he only charged us what the actual costs were to him. He did it for FREE!!! We still had to pay for our home study but we were able to pay that per visit so it wasn't as hard. We also had to pay for court costs. But we were still under $2000 when all was said and done.

What an amazing journey it has been. He has had his struggles but I know he knows he is loved. Every decision I make for him I hope is the best. We did finally decide to give him medication for his PDD-NOS and I have seen huge improvements with his speech and his behaviors are changing alot. I am sure he will always have his issues but I really feel this is helping him right now.

Yesterday I was doing dished and the boys were watching cartoons and al of the sudden I hear Deshawn singing. Okay he doesn't ever just start singing on his own like that. No one prompted him to do it he just did it on his own. I was overcome with pride. I really hope all we do for him will help. You don't get a parenting handbook when you have children (I wish ya did) but I know we try our best and hopefully we don't let this little guy down.

Here is a picture from the finalization of Deshawns adoption.



What.... What's that you see????? It looks like I am prego!!!!! So you know when deshawn was about 5 weeks old I found out I was pregnant. Imagine That!!!